Love Notes: How To Deal With Your Ex.

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You may have spent months or years in each others lives. The relationship may have ended badly or on a good note. Either way, it's over and the big question consciously or sub consciously is how are you going to deal with your ex. I believe that there are different levels of "relations past". There is the ex that you hate, the ex that you still love and the ex that you are good remaining just friends with. For each level I am going to give a few tips that may help to make things easier.

The Ex You Hate.
When it comes to the ex that you hate and in this social media age I would recommend that you not troll his or her social media pages and leave negative comments because you are hurt. If you remain friends on social media which I do not advise by the way, try not to throw "shade" at each other no matter how tempted you are to do so. If you share a child or children together make sure that for the sake of the "pickney dem" you do not speak badly to your child about their mother or their father because what ever he or she did or the negative feelings you hold towards him or her it has nothing to do with the innocent child you both brought into the world.

The Ex You Love
Dealing with the ex you still love is always some what tricky. You may hate what he or she did to you in the relationship but you can't help loving and remembering him/her for all the great moments you shared. The heart wants what it wants right? Sometimes the best way to deal with this person is to ensure that you put space between each other.Take some time to get to know yourself without that person in your life. Delete those old affectionate messages and try not to hold on to those old pictures
for too long. Stay off his or her social media page becuase the more you try keeping up with what's going on in his or her life without you, is the harder it will be for you to move on with your own life. Whatever it takes, try not to send that infamous "I miss you text.", often times that may lead to a quick hook up and short term reunion. But guess what, if you get back together without dealing with the reasons you broke up in the first place, that reunion will be short lived. Often the reason why you feel you still love your ex is because they are familiar and they are the safe choice. As they say it's better the evil you know than the evil you don't.

For those of you who have a child or children with the ex that you still love all of this may be easier said than done becuase you'll constantly be in each others lives. But try to limit communication to things about the children. Try to make pick ups and drop offs short, never end up in situations where you both are alone reminiscing about the good times. By taking these precautions, lines won't be crossed and you both won't end up dipping back into the sugar jar for all the wrong reasons.

The Ex You're Friends With
It is ok to remain friends with an ex. Sometimes this happens because you both realize you didn't truly love each other and are better off as friends or you both have moved on and are now happy. It could also mean that you both are still very much in love with each other. If you start a new relationship though, I  would advise you as soon as your new relationship
begins to get serious to tell your significant other that you are still friends with your ex, gain their prospective on this. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend has a problem with the friendship especially if you don't have child with your ex it's best to cut off the friendship with your ex in order for your new relationship to flourish. Again, for those of you who have a child/children with you're ex maintaining a good friendship with your  ex while maneuvering a new relationship may be hard especially if your new significant other feels that you are too close with the father or mother of your child/children. If your new man or woman is telling you that remaining so close to your ex is a problem for them you may need to reconsider that relationship for the sake of your child/children or compromise by limiting the interactions you have with your ex. When all is said and done if you and your ex both realize that you are still in love with each other whilst trying to be "just
friends" ensure that you get closure on all the issues that caused the break up before being swept back into starting from where the relationship left off.

At the end of the day relationships come and go. Whether you move on, stay great friends or get back together be mature about the decisions playing games only hurt in the long run.